She Wants To Make Us Happy? OC
by Dr. Josephine
Summary: For some odd reason, a 12 year old therapist comes and lives with the Grimms! Sounds kinda stupid but i had fun writing it! It is now done! Viola!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Heh heh, this is an OC, where I am the OC. Don't post mad reviews about the description, I just wanted to have some confidence for once! *Runs away crying* JK. It's about a girl, (HARPER!!!) comes to Ferryport Landing to make the Grimms 'Happy.' So anyway, Here it is.**

**Sabrina's POV**

It was a normal day when the door bell rang. Good-bye, normalness.

_Ding-Dong_ "I'll get it!" I call, trying to get away from Puck, who was eating with his feet.

When I answered the door, I saw a girl, about my age, twelve, wearing denim blue skinny jeans, a yellow shirt with a dinosaur on it, yellow flip-flops, and a whale necklace was standing there. She had short, brown hair that went no further than her chin, perfect eyebrows, blue eyes, freckles, and full lips. She was holding a clipboard.

"Hey! I'm Harper. You're Granny, Relda? She told me to come." She seemed cheerful, but not overly-cheerful. I called Granny over. "Oh! Harper, you're here! Good, good." She yelled out for everyone to gather at the dining room table.

Puck sneered. "Has the old lady asked you to move in to? So, which one are you?" He spat at Harper. He obviously thought she was an everafter.

"Um, no, I'm not moving in, and, what do you mean, 'which one are you?'" She had a confused but happy expression.

"You know, everafter?" Harper shook her head. "So you're _not _a fairytale creature?" He seemed shocked. Could this boy get any more stupid?

"No…I am a human. Are you a fairytale creature?" Now she looked more like she was mocking him.

"Of course! I'm Puck!"

"Oh, from _A Midsummer Night's Dream?"_

"Duh? What'd you think? A hockey puck?"

She leaned over to me. "Is he in a play or something…"She started to giggle a bit but stopped and jumped a bit when she saw Puck turn into a raccoon and steal my bacon. He turned back into his true form and swallowed it whole.

"Okay, that happened." She said, hardly moving her face. I cut in. "Uh, Granny? I think we have some explaining to do." So after about thirty minutes of explaining, we found out why she was here.

"So, Relda called the place I work for and hired me to make you happy. And, I'm not some overly peppy daycare freak, or a guidance counselor, I'm your friend. I'm going to stay here until you're happy. And, I'm pretty much just gonna act like a friend." We eventually got it.

"Well, right now is the only time I actually will act like a counselor, I have to take each of you to a different room and ask you some questions. Who wants to go first?" Puck raised his hand.

**Puck's POV**

Ok, this Harper girl is weird. But, I followed her up to the room,(Sabrina's bed room) and answered the questions.

"Ok, Puck. First question. Are you happy?" She asked. What kind of question is that?

"Uh, yeah."

"You hesitated." What? I hesitated?

"huh?"

"You say, Uhhh….." She made a face.

"God, Yes! I'm happy! Next question!"

"Fine fine fine. Now, I'm going to say each member of the family's names and your going to say say if you've had any strong emotions toward them. Anger, humiliation, resentment, love…"

"Ok."

"Granny." "Nope." "Daphne" "Nope" "Red" "Nope" "Canis" "Nope" "Sabrina" I must have made a face because she looked at me and said, "Love?" I exploded. "RESENTMENT!" "Dude, chill."

I made another face.

"Ok, one last thing." She smiled. "Attack me." What? Well, ok. But she was asking for it! I charged at her, grabbing my sword, but she grabbed my arm before I could punch her. I tried kicking her but she moved her foot at the last minute and kicked the back of my knees made me fall backwards. She had pinned me down.

"Ok, your free to go. Send Daphne in."


	2. Daphne, Red, and Sabrina

**A/N Thank you all for the awesome reviews! I hope this fanfic doesn't sound too conceited. lol. Ok, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Daphne's POV**

Puck came down to me and told me to go up to my room. I shrugged and said, "Okay!"

I skipped up the stairs wondering what this girl was like. I liked saying her name. "Harper. HAR-per. Har-PER! HARPER!"

"Yes?" I froze. I didn't realize I was saying aloud. Oops.

"Heh, nothing." I frowned.

"Alright then. Let's get down to business. Are you happy?" I love it when people ask me that. I am super-duper-party-pooper happy!

"Yup! I am extremely happy!" He he.

"Good, good. So, now I'm going to say a member of the family, and you're going to say is you've ever been mad, happy, jealous, or excited for them." I nodded.

"Okay! Let's start!"

"Okay, okay. Granny Relda?" "Oh I love her!" "Mr. Canis?" "I've never been mad at him!" "Good, good. Puck?" I made a face. "He's disgusting." "Sabrina?" Uh… "Well, she's awesome, but she has betrayed me in the past." "Okay."

"One more thing."

"What?"

"I want you to tell Red that it's her turn. Bye!"

"Bye!"

**Red's POV**

Oh, great. It's my turn. Daphne seemed cheery when she came down, but Puck's face was red. Maybe she beats up the bad people! Oh crap! I'm a bad people! Or is it bad person. Whatever.

Just then I realized I hadn't moved an inch. I slowly got up and walked towards Sabrina's room.

"Hey psycho, we don't have all day!" Puck shouted. My fists clenched. I hated that boy! I shook it off and continued my slow migration up the stairs. Puck's wings popped out, he grabbed my hood and propped me in front of Daphne's room. I punched him in the stomach.

"Hi, Red. Have a seat." She patted a spot on the bed next to her. I sat down.

"So Red, are you happy?" I didn't know how to answer that. I mean, I was grateful that Relda has invited me into her home, but unhappy because, well, I was psycho for the past thousand years. Was I happy?  
What a good question.

I shrugged.

"Mm – Hmm." She wrote something down on her clipboard. "Okay, now I want you to tell me if you have had any strong feelings for anyone in the family? I'm talking angry, jealous, anything like that."

Huh…? I shrugged. She tilted her head, but wrote something down.

"So Red, I've a question. Are you, like, Red Riding Hood?" I nodded. Harper smiled. "Sweet." I smiled. This was a first.

"Ok, so, tell me if you have any hobbies. Like, what do you do in your free time?" Nothing, really. I think about what I've done. My past. My terrible, terrible past. I shrugged. She smiled a little.

"Not very verbal, are you?" I smiled, a little, but didn't answer. Didn't you hear her? I'm not very verbal!

"Can you touch your toes?" This was a step from the last question. What does she need to know that for? I mean, I could, but still.

I nodded.

"Show me," She said. I stood up and touched my toes. It was easy. Her smile grew wider. "Good."

"Can you?" I asked. Well, she probably could. Now I feel stupid for asking that.

She stood up and touched her toes. "I can do it standing up but I can't touch them when sitting down. I mean, I can do one foot sitting down, but not both." I nodded.

"Could you tell Sabrina to come up?" I nodded again and walked out of the room. Harper wasn't all bad.

**Sabrina's POV**

Harper is all bad. What good can come out of someone trying to make us happy? We tried therapy. (**Recently read that Fanfic. Was really funny.) **That poor fellow. Whatever. Red came down and quietly told me it was my turn.

The worst thing about Harper is that Puck seems to like her. Not that that is bad for me, anyway. Bad for Harper. Yeah.

Well, I walked up the stairs. I did it quickly, so that Puck didn't throw me up there like he did for Red. I hate Puck…

"Hey, Sabrina." She seemed happy. I hate happy people.

"Don't hate me Sabrina." Could she read minds? Freak. "Why do you think I hate you?" I said accusingly.

"Your fists are clenched, you have a hating expression, and your muscles are tense. Plus, your staring at me." She said, happy as ever. "Oh."

"So lets get down to business." She said. I rolled my eyes. She wrinkled her eyebrows. "You seem to have a lot of anger."

"Why does everyone say that?!" I said.

"Because everyone has eyes…?" Grr… I do not like this girl at all.

I scoffed. "What do you know. You just got here an hour ago." She chuckled. Stupid girl.

"Oh, I know more than you would think. You see, Relda informed me on everything. Everything that has happened to you. Aside from the fairytale creatures. She just said murder and war and kidnapping. Not monster children and Rumplestiltsken and giants." She laughed again.

Stupid Harper.

"Okay, now lets get down to business. _For real. _Are you happy?"

What the hell kind of question was that? Seriously, though. Am I happy? Of course I'm happy damn it!

"Yeah…I don't see why granny called you."

"I do." She said, matter-of-factly. I sneered.

"Exhibit A," She joked.

"Ok ok whatever. What's the next question?" I said, rolling my eyes for effect.

"Ok, I want to say if you've ever been like really really angry, humiliated, or jealous of any one in the family."

"Where do I begin?! Let's start with Puck. He's practically the bane of my existence! He dumps me in vats of goop, puts spiders in my bed, had unicorns poop on me," I shuddered at the thought. Harper made a disgusted face. "He is an idiot, but..." My voice trailed off as I thought of the nice things he's done for me. Harper didn't need to know those things.

"But? I know about him saving you, you know." She said. "And by the way your Granny Relda put it it sounds like he likes you. But that is NOT what he said." She laughed.

"What did he say?!" I demanded. Oh great, he probably told her EVERYTHING. STUPID PUCK.

"Oh, nothing!" She said quickly. "Every private talk is confidential!" I grabbed at her clipboard. She pulled it away and ran across the room. "Nope!" She was laughing.

And before I knew it, I was laughing pretty hard to.

She came back and reclaimed her seat on the bed, shoving the clipboard under a pillow and sitting on it.

"Ok, one more thing." Harper started. "You're a temperamental little beyotch who thinks only for herself."

What the hell is wrong with this girl!?!?!!? I lunged at her and tackled her to the ground. She was smiling brighter than the sun.

"Great! You're even better than Puck! Oops!" She covered her mouth.

"What…?"

"Oh, I was just seeing how much it takes for you to spring into action, and how well you fight. I didn't do it for Daphne, and after hearing Red's history, I just made her touch her toes."

I laughed again. This girl is pretty awesome. "That's a good idea."

"Thanks, Ok, your done. Ooh, I ought to get back to my hotel." She checked her watch.

"You're staying in a hotel?" I asked.

"Yup, the ex-mayors mirror. I thought it was an illusion, you know, part of the wall, until Puck blew the secret." I laughed. Oh, okay.

"Oh."

"Oh. Well, I'll see you tomorrow!"

And she left.

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys! I wrote more, obviously. Hope you guys liked this one! -Jojo**


	3. Harper Gets Used To ThemSorta

**A/N Hey its Jojo, I love the reviews! They make me feel all happy! (Like Harper, who is ALWAYS happy!) Please Note: Harper is my first name. It just like Josephine (My middle name) better, so it is ;**

**Harper's POV**

It was so nice of Ex-mayor charming to let me stay in his…mirror. It's nice and cozy, and Harry, the receptionist, is so nice. Charming doesn't trust me that much, but since he went to the future and saw that I played a vital role in his existence (I don't know.) I am allowed to stay here. Plus I am paying him around fifty bucks a night. I hope this family gets happy quick.

I could not sleep. My first day has been a strange one. I met a boy who can turn into a raccoon, (probably other things too, I just hope I don't find out to soon.) I learned that I am now living in a town full of fairytale creatures, Red Riding Hood used to be a psycho murderer, and met a strange temperamental blonde girl. She seemed my age. Maybe we'll be friends?

Before I knew it, it was morning, but only 6:30 am. I got up, took a shower, packed my bag with everything I needed for the day, ate breakfast, and watched TV. At around nine o'clock, I stepped through the portal, (which still made me a bit uneasy) and walked to the Grimm house.

_Ding Dong. _I rang the doorbell. I waited a second, and then Sabrina opened the door.

"Hey, Harper!" She said. I'm glad she doesn't hate me any more.

"Hi! How's it going?" I asked, with a wave of the hand.

"Good. C'mon in." Sabrina said. I followed her inside, where Puck was playing a hockey video game, (How ironic) yelling at everyone who walked in front of the screen. Daphne was trying to get Red out of the corner. ;

I shook my head in disbelief. This family was going to be easy.

"Oh my gosh! Harper's here! Yay!" Daphne ran over and gave me a hug. Much to my, and most likely everyone's surprise, Red did the same.

"Hey, guys. What do you want to do?" I asked them, crouching down to their height. Red shrugged shyly and Daphne said, "IDK."

"IDK?" Sabrina asked. "Yeah, it stands for I Don't Know. I'm talking in text talk now." Daphne explained.

Sabrina rolled her eyes.

"Arg! Stupid Sharks!" Puck slammed down the controller down and looked over. "Oh, hi Harper."

"Hi," I said. The game had distracted me. I slid over on the couch next to him. "The San Jose Sharks are on this game? I didn't know any one outside of San Jose has heard of them." I said. Then I noticed the confused faces of the family. "What?"

"How do you know about them?" Puck asked.

"Oh, I used to live there." I said.

"Wait, so you came here all the way from California to make us happy?" Sabrina asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. It's my job." I honestly did not get the puzzled faces of these people.

"Even I didn't know that," Relda chimed.

"What? Seriously!?" I asked. So I had to move. So what?

"Well, we don't know how long you're going to stay here. It could be a very long time. We don't want to separate you from your family and friends." Relda explained.

"Oh it's no biggie." I said happily.

**Pucks POV **

This girl is a turd. At least no one saw her pin me down. That would be beyond embarrassing. I wonder if she made Daphne or Sabrina attack her. Or Red? Ha! Red would probably kill her. That psycho.

Whatever. I'm just going focus on my video game.

"Okay, back to hockey. Everyone in my town loved the Sharks. I mean, they were obsessed with that team." Harper said.

"I didn't really know anything about hockey until I got this game." I said.

"Yeah except they hit you with sticks," She joked.

I laughed. Maybe Harper isn't such a turd. Whatever.

"Harper your outfit is so cute! But what's Fisher?" Daphne said. I looked at Harper. She was wearing black sweatpants and a green shirt that was a reference to the play Wicked. On the side of the pants it said "Fisher" in green and yellow writing.

"Oh, Fisher is the school I used to go. We got the sweatpants with gym clothes." Harper said. "Thank you."

"Cool." Daphne said. "Hey, you guys, you wanna go outside?"

Harper shrugged and said sure, and everyone filed out the door. Not wanting to be alone, I went too.

Sabrina, who was last to go, disappeared into the forest, and I followed, but at a distance. Apparently it was too much of a distance because when I entered I couldn't see anyone. I continued on deep into the forest.

Giving up, my wings popped out and I flew over the forest. I looked all over the forest and didn't see any one. I surrendered and went back to the house, where everyone was sitting on the front porch, eating popsicles.

"Where've you been?" Sabrina asked.

"I was looking for you guys!" I said, feeling kind of stupid.

"We've been here the whole time, idiot."

"Oh shut up, buttwipe. I saw you guys go into the forest!"

"Why would we go in there? Last time I did I was eaten alive by pixies and almost drowned by Peter Pan." Sabrina laughed at the memory of how angry I got when Daphne called me that.

"DO NOT CALL ME PETER PAN I AM PUCK THE TRICKSTER KING!!! THE MASTER OF HOOLIGANS! THE PRINCE OF FAERIES! THE IMP!" I hate Sabrina right now.

"Well Puck," Harper cut in. She was writing everything down on her clipboard. "Is that with three exclamation points or four?" I fumed at her while Sabrina Daphne and Red laughed.

"Fine, I'll put three and a half."

**Sabrina's POV**

When Harper came back the next day, she had a brown felted bag with golden embroidery. It looked overstuffed and really heavy, but she carried it with ease.

Puck picked up the bag. "Jeez, what is in this?!" Puck asked in an exasperated tone.

"Bricks," Harper said sarcastically. But just to be sure, Puck took a peek inside.

"Liar!" He accused, than laughed.

"Gimme that." Harper reached over the couch and grabbed the bag. Just then I realized how gently she handled everything, though she seemed super strong.

"Your really strong if you can carry that all the way here from Charming's." Puck observed, oh so cleverly.

Harper tilted her head as if to say, 'Eh.'

"How many push-ups can you do?"

"I don't know."

"Try and figure out. See if you can do fifty."

She could.

"Well, what about sit ups?" Puck asked, with clear disdain washing over his face.

Harper did fifty sit ups, the noticed Puck's expression.

"Aw, Puck. Don't hate me because I can do more push-ups than you."

"You can not!" Puck roared.

"Ok, sorry. How many can you do?" Harper asked, kind of the way you would ask a toddler. Though, I'm pretty sure toddlers don't do many push-ups.

"One hundred thousand." Puck exclaimed proudly, almost indignantly.

"Whoa." Harper nodded, acting like she was impressed. Harper's a pretty good actress.

"Thank you. Nobody can beat Puck!"

"You've made sure," Harper chortled under her breath.

**A/N Okay, this is a very random chapter. Its just to show that Harper is kinda getting along with the family, and is witnessing the insanity of the family. Yeah. **


	4. Kidnapped! Dun dun dun!

**A/N The plot thickens! A new mystery has sprung up in town, and I have challenged my self to use all thirty of my vocabulary words! Dun-dun-dun!!!! **

**Third Person! **

Sabrina and Harper were waiting outside an orchard of strawberries, Sabrina explaining that random mysteries like this are common in Ferryport landing.

They were outside a strawberry orchard because the family had gotten a call from the farmer saying that he had found a dead body in his fields. It was the body of the scarecrow. How ironic.

"This is pretty freaky…" Harper said. She didn't seem that phased though. As if she had been at a crime/murder scene before, and was used to it, much in the way that Sabrina was.

"Yeah," Sabrina replied, for it was the only word she could think of to respond to what Harper had said.

"You know, it's kind of weird. I feel like I have been here before" Suddenly there was a muffled sound, and when Sabrina turned, Harper was gone. Then she felt something pull her backwards and everything went black.

Her eyes opened to see Harper chained up on a wall across from her. Sabrina was chained up to. Her wrists hurt, and she could barely move.

"Uh, does this happen a lot?" Harper asked. I could only nod. Not this exactly, but pretty close.

"Interesting," she said.

"Why yes, it is." The two girls turned and Sabrina couldn't believe who she saw. Well, she could, she knew he was evil, but she also thought he was dead.

"Oh my god! Your beard is blue! That is so cool! I once dyed my hair pink but it didn't turn out good. Where'd you get your coloring? Did you go to a salon? Could you give me the address?" Harper asked, excitedly. She seemed sincerely eager to know. Sabrina could not believe Harper had just said that to Bluebeard.

"You- you think it's cool?" Bluebeard asked, his eyebrows crinkling.

"Yes! My dad had a beard, but he shaved it off. I should've made him dye his!" Harper said.

"You are a strange, strange little girl," Harper stuck her tongue out. "Anyway," Bluebeard continued. "As you know, I am part-"

"Are you the one that kidnapped us?" Harper interrupted. "'Cause, your hands taste awful. Ever hear of soap?" That did it. Bluebeard smacked her across the face.

Harper didn't seem hurt. She smiled, despite the new red mark on her left cheek. "Ow. Carry on,"

"Al right," Bluebeard said, obviously perturbed. "As you know, I am part of the Scarlet Hand."

"Scarlet Hand?! That's the evil organization's name? Well I imagined something scarier, like the cute fluffy bunnies. But seriously, Scarlet hand is almost as scary as The Pink Butterflies."

"You're supposed to imagine a bloody hand and- never mind! The friggin master has sent me! God this is the most annoying assignment ever!"

"Who's _The Master?" _Harper said the words the master creepily.

"Like I would tell you."

"You're no fun."

"Shut up girl! I didn't kidnap you so we could have a tea party and share celebrity gossip!

"Okay, A, My name is Harper, not girl. And B, I don't like tea. I prefer sparkling cider, or pomegranate juice! Oh! And instead of crumpets, we can have cupcakes! Or, or, or! We could have"

"Shut yer trap, girlie! You don't know what you've just gotten yerself into!"

"Well, based on my limited field of view due to these chains," Harper rattled the chains that kept her on the wall. "I'd say it's a mossy cell, with giant snail spoor on the ground, and there is an impudent blue-haired guy trying to give us wanton deaths."

"Wanton?"

"Not like, fried dough. Wanton as in, unnecessary and brutal."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So, are you going to kill us?"

"Not me. The master."

"Oh, again with the master! The master this, that master that!" Harper made a high-pitched voice. "Oh, how I love you, master!" Then she fell out of her shingles that kept her on the wall.

"How did you do that!?" Bluebeard seemed agitated. I didn't blame him.

"Um, hello? I'm a twelve year old girl, not some twenty year old body-builder. The chains are way too big." Sabrina couldn't believe Harper, and had to try to suppress her laughter. She then realized that her cuffs were the right size, so she could not leave.

"Um, Harper, could you help me?" She asked innocently.

"I'll cover that, while little miss sarcastic is busy." a familiar voice chimed from above. Sabrina looked up, saw Puck, looked to her left, and saw Harper fighting Bluebeard. She had stolen his sword and was taunting him.

"She's awesome," Puck said. Suddenly, an uncommon twang of jealousy ran through her body. _Puck never calls me awesome, _Sabrina thought, _unless I did something bad._ She shook the thought idea from her head. Why should she care if Puck thought she was awful? And was she still thinking about this when she should be freeing herself?

But, Puck had been busy doing that as she sat like a lifeless limp and before she knew it, she had fallen onto the ground.

"Wake up, Grimm." Puck said. Sabrina, rubbing her head, stuck her tongue out.

Meanwhile, Harper had been fighting with Bluebeard. "If it's not too much to ask for, could I have some help?" She called. Bluebeard was practically on top of her, but Harper was barely holding him off.

Puck swooped over and pulled Bluebeard off. Then, he punched and kicked him until he couldn't move his legs.

Puck flew over to Harper and asked, "Are you okay?" Again, Sabrina felt envious. Puck never asked if she was okay! Was Puck falling for Harper? Or worse, was Sabrina falling for Puck? Nonsense! And nevertheless, Harper was her friend. She couldn't get jealous of her!

"Go on, go home now." Bluebeard said abruptly. The three children looked to see the big man's shoulders shaking with subtle laughs. "We're going to sue the boy this time. For bank robbery and battery of a defenseless man. And even if you three are witnesses, just remember that the jury, and judge, will side with the Hand. You will never win." Puck's face went white. He was remembering when Mr. Canis was tried. Sure, the escaped, but hardly. Canis was so close to dying. Puck might not be as lucky. He grabbed the girls and flew out of there at top speed.

When they got home, Puck went straight up to his room, slammed the door, and didn't even come down for dinner.

**A/N Yowza! Quite and exciting chapter, wasn't it? And all the excitement died, in 189 words! And the next chapter won't be any less than this! (P.S. In the next chapter, I will be hiding lyrics to songs. If you private message me the words + title of song, you can help me write the next chapter!) Thanks. ~Jojo**

**\~/ Glass half full!**


	5. IT'S CONFIDENTIAL

**A/N Hey people. I like writing this. This is fun. I dunno what this one is about yet. **

**Pucks POV**

Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap Crap. Crap. Crap Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap

STUPID FREAKING PINK BUTTERFLIES- I MEAN, SCARLET HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their suing me, much in the way they did Mr. Canis. Apparently I robbed a bank and beat some 'poor' old man. HE WAS FREAKING TRYING TO MURDER SABRINA!!!!!! AND HARPER! I mean, you don't kill Harper! I mean, Sabrina! Wait, no, um. Ok. I don't know which one is better. They're both awful! Right?

Crap.

**Harper's POV**

"Harper's audio notes; Grimm Family. This…..is different. I have NEVER done a family like this before. Not only can they NOT get along, at all, but they have a past with a fictional character that apparently is a murderous lunatic. Sigh.

And NOW Puck is being tried. I get the feeling they have a past with…this sort of thing. Something about their behavior is scaring me. Puck stormed off to his room instead of eating dinner; rare. Sabrina isn't insulting him. He carried us home, yes, by flying, without a single word. When we told Relda the news, she and Canis grumbled the whole time. Daphne is crying. I fear that-"

"That what?" I whipped my head around. There, in the doorway, was Puck. I gulped. NO ONE is supposed to hear my audio notes. "Nothing! Nothing at all!" I said, oh so subtly.

"You were talking about us. About everyone." He said accusingly.

"Well, yeah, I was taking audio..notes. Its my job to make you happy, and I can't do that if I no nothing about you."

"What were you saying?"

"IT'S CONFIDENTIAL." Puck seemed alarmed by my tone. "Sorry. You're just not allowed to know."

Puck walked over and sat next to me. I looked at him without turning my head. "Hi." I said.

"Um….Harper? You're in…trouble."

"'Cause I ate the last dinner roll? You've got to be quicker, Puck."

"NO, because of Bluebeard. Because you were there, and you talked, which was hilarious, he's out to get you. And me, apparently." He told me.

I sighed; I knew that something like this would happen eventually with this family. But I thought, _Maybe Puck could give me some information. _"Hey, you guys all seem real scared about the suing stuff; could you tell me why?" I clicked the record button on my tape recorder. I'm a clever girl, I am.

Puck sighed. "It's a long story."

"Ok," he sighed again. "Ok, you know how Mr. Canis is the Big Bad Wolf, right?" I nodded. "Well, he was tried for the murder of Red Riding Hood's grandmother. Um, well, every person in the court was against us. They were ALL for the Hand." "Right, the Pink Butterflies." I corrected. He showed hint of a smile. "Yeah, so we lost, and Mr. Canis was to be hanged." My eyes widened. "He barely escaped, and a huge war broke out between the Hand and us." "Us?" "The fairytale creatures that teamed up with our family."

"Ok. Thank you so much for that information." I clicked the stop recording button. "It's okay." I said awkwardly. "We'll…um…make it through." Dang I'm not being a very good therapist right now. Seriously, why is it hard to comfort Puck? I don't know, but I'd better make sure nothing happens.

**A/N OoooOooH!!!! Drrrrrama!! Don't worry, there'll be more action next chapter. BTW SORRY I haven't updated in a…..year. Gah I'm sooooo busy now. Okay, stay tuned for the next chapter!!!!! Coming 2077!!!!!! **


	6. I Want To Get In Touch With MyInnerChild

**A/N getting back on track! Okay, here's the new chapter! Enjoy!**

**Sabrina's POV**

I was scared. We got in the car and drove straight to the court house. The Mad Hatter is still the judge, though Aladdin is the prosecutor. Aladdin's a bad guy? Robin Hood is the defense. Harper seems weirded out.

Puck is nervous, and Puck is NEVER nervous. I have a VERY bad feeling.

After the oath and everything, the first witness was called up. What did Puck do anyway?

The first witness: Bluebeard. He went up to the stand in a wheelchair. He is SUCH a faker. He addressed the crowd: "Oh, woe is me. I had simply stumbled upon an old cellar where two girls were chained to a wall. I had tried to help them but one of them started making snarky remarks and escaped and began beating me!" I assumed that was Harper. "Then, the boy came in and helped! And all I could do was sit there and get trampled, because I couldn't hurt a child!"

THAT HORRIBLE MAN!!!!!!!

"Objection!" Robin Hood leaped up.

"Overruled!" Judge Hatter slammed his mallet(yes, mallet) down on the wood desk in front of him. Harper held a confused expression and looked over at me. She mouthed: "mallet?" I nodded, apologizing.

"But, you're honor, that is NOT at ALL what happened!"

"Recess!"

"Why?"

"I want to get in touch with my inner child!"

We filed out of the building. Harper sat on a bench. "What just happened?" She said with a laugh.

Puck shrugged. I realized he hadn't said a word since yesterday. Heart marched over.

"Whose this?"

"What's this?" Harper crinkled her nose.

"I am the mayor of this town."

"I have some reforms for you then. You see, this cities at war, I'm surprised the president hasn't-"

"Enough! Who is this filthy bilge rat!?" She demanded, flaring her nostrils.

"I'm Harper. Pleasant to meet you, ma'am." Harper smiled and offered her hand.

Heart eyed her. "You're next."

"Well she seems nice." Harper's smile grew. Everyone stared at her. "What?"

**A/N Gah, this is getting hard to write. Whatever!! Stay tuned!**


	7. I Was Hoping Someone Would Start A Riot

**A/N, KK, here's chapter 7. Dude, this story is going NO WHERE. Haha, there'll be, over 10,000,000,000,000,000 Chapters. …heh…heh…heh… CHAPTER 7!**

**Harper's POV**

Okay, now we have a 1 day recess. The judge, Hatter, was a strange one. I asked Sabrina about him.

"He's the Mad Hatter." She said, as if it were a normal thing to same.

"From Alice in Wonderland?" I said.

"Yeah. He's a little…" Sabrina made a twirl next to her temple with her finger.

I laughed. "Seriously, that was really uneventful. I was hoping someone would start a riot," She looked briefly at Puck. "Oh well."

**Sabrina's POV**

I felt horrible, as if this entire thing was my fault. I HAD to stand so close to the kidnappers! God, I'm so stupid!!!!!

I walked up to Puck's room (he had ran-flown straight up there when we got home) and knocked on the door. I was very careful to check for booby traps-there were none. I walked up to the trampoline to see him making agitated faces towards a book titled "Binky Goes To The Zoo."

"Hi." I said, quietly.

"Hi." He said back. Holy cow, this suing thing is really hitting him hard.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Puck got up and threw the book into his lagoon, and flew over to his throne. "What do you want?" He asked, finally his old self.

I gulped. "I don't know." I said, and ran away.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?!?!

**A/N Wow, short chapter. Sorry, couldn't think of anything else to write. :/ **


	8. Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies

OMG I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG! I am VERY sorry. Haha ALSO, I had to replace my hard drive or whatever so Microsoft Word and EVERYTHING I had saved on it is bye-bye. Great, right? Whatever, here is thy tale.

Sabrina's POV Okay, the recess is OVER. Back in the courtroom, Judge Hatter was complaining about the lousy performance given to him at dinner theater last night.

Harper raised her hand.

"Yes, the Alice with the brown hair." Hatter said, pointing to her.

"Yeah...I was wondering if...well if Daphne and I did a performance for you would you like us better?"

Judge Hatter nodded, while the Queen of Hearts and Bluebeard hung their mouths open.

"Ok." She walked over to Bluebeard, pulled out his sword, and said, "Shut your mouth, you'll catch flies."

Daphne had borrowed one of Robin Hoods arrows, and I and Puck moved the tables in disbelief.

"What are they doing...?" Puck whipsered. I shrugged.

"I call this play: The Pirate and The Little Girl Who Bursts Into Song At Random Moments." The audience clapped.

The lights dimmed.

"Who did that?" I rapidly searched the ceiling for the spotlight coming down on the two.

"Arrg, Avast ye girl!" Harper said with a pirate accent.

In a high-pitch voice, Daphne screamed. "Ahh! No, I don't want to walk the plank!'

"Yarr harr harr harr!!! Too bad!!"

Suddenly, Daphne start singing, just like the title promised.

"Oh woe is me! Life in peril at sea!

With some pirate that I don't know!"

"Yarr look at her! Yarr harr har she's so scared!

Isn't this a good show?"

Judge Hatter clapped giddilly.

Randomly, Harper and Daphne started using their weapons as canes and tap danced. The kind of dancing that you would expect someone with a top hat to dance like.

The ended the show with a kick-line and the words

"Hes. The. Family. GUY!!!!!"

"Ta-da!"

"Yay! Yay! These people win! I'm not sure what side they're on, but they win!" Jude Hatter exclaimed.

We all group hugged.

"When did you rehearse that!?" I asked.

They both shrugged.

"Never" they said in unison.

Wow. Eventful, huh? 


	9. She Owes Me Nine Cents

A/N..whooops....nope, still to . Much better. SO, We won the case.

SABRINAS POV

Still kind of fuzzy on how we won the case, but apparently the Judge likes plays. Who knew?

Puckity Puck Puck's POV YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'm changing the font. *Stomps angrily away* *Comes back nicely*

Better. Now, Carry on with the story.

I walked into Harper's guest room (Yeah, she lives there now.) and she was haard at work with something.

"More notes about us?" I asked, leaning in the doorway. Her head shot up and she said, "No. This is science homework."

"Oh."

"Betcha five bucks I can find a word you don't understand." Harper grinned mischeviously, which is my patented look. She owes me 9 cents.

"Fine, but I worn you, I'm a genius."

"Endoplasmic reticulum." Does that mean........?

"That's two words, that doesn't count."

She rolled her eyes. "Homeostasis."

"Eh...?"

"Homeostasis. The process of maintaining a life-supporting internal enviroment." She looked at my face and said "Internal. The inside." .......

"Pay up." I groaned and shoved five dollars in her hand. Then my head hurt and I woke up chained to a wall.

Apparently the villians are getting smarter because I saw Harper in the stocks right in front of me. She started giggling and hinted ** that people should start throwing rotting fruit at her.

Suddenly a figure walked out.

"You? You're the master?" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

A/N OOOOOOOOOO WHO IS IT?!?!?!?! 


	10. You? You're The Master?

A/N Thanks Lara D cuz I couldn't think of something to do. :)

Puck's POV (again)

"You? You're the Master?" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No, you idiot. The Master has been trying to destroy me, duh!?" Sabrina said.

"Oh yeah. Hey, how come your not chained up?" I asked.

"I am." She twiddled a thing around her ankle.

"oh."

Suddenly, another figure appeared.

"You? You're the master?" Harper asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No, I'M YOUR FLABBING SISTER!" Carson answered. She was chained up too.

"Oh right. Hi Carson. Why are you here?" She asked.

"I was bored."

"What happened to school?"

"Oh yeah...."

Harper sighed.

Suddenly, a figure appeared.

"You? You're the Master?" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No, my love. I already told you i wasn't part of the Scarlet Hand." Moth answered.

Carson mouthed Scarlet Hand? and Harper said "I'll tell you later."

Suddenly, a figure appeared.

"You? You're the Master?" Moth asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No, I helped stop the Scarlet Hand!" Mustardseed said.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE?!" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" Everyone but Carson said.

Suddenly, a figure appeared.

"You? You're the Master?" Mustardseed asked, completely gobsmacked.

"Who are you anyway?" He added.

"I'm their Uncle Jake. And no, I'm not the Master." Jake said.

"You? You're the Master?" Jake asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No! I'm your girlfriend! Duh?!" Briar said.

Suddenly, a figure appeared.

"You? You're the Master?" Briar asked, completely gobsmacked.

"Yes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

A/N this was interesting, wasn't it? yes, more on the Master after i finish my homework. Au Revior! 


	11. I Transformed Into A Hippo

**A/N I don't know why I bother pressing bold here, it just goes away whenever I save this.**

**BTW since the last chapter Bella, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis (Dog, Presly, Castello), Robin Hood, Hatchet, Snow White, Charming, Some dude with a piccolo, and Mr. Canis had shown up. I got bored of that line over and over again. I asked, completely gobsmacked. DARN IT! IT FUZED ITSELF INTO MY BRAISEN! WTH IS A BRAISEN! TOO MANY OATMEAL RAISEN COOKIES!**

**Sabrina's POV**

**Hi I'm Sabrina and I'm telling you to read the A/N if you haven't already to understand this fanfic.**

Why is he/she (A/N still not telling you till next chapter haha!) the Master?

Why is Harper's sister here?

Why am I chained aroung the ankle, and why is Harper in stocks? Apple is doing fairly well right now, though.

Why are all these random characters, some OC's, and minor characters that have only come up once and are not important at all to the series here?

Are we having some sort of reunion here?

I guess.

"So, I'm the Master. :) Now, I will kill you, one at a time!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA just because I want you guys to know how much I suck." The Master grimaced. "Darn I owe my dad a dollar."

**Hockey Sticks POV....wait....that's not right. You get it, right? If not, he has a character in Glee, and most female readers are in love with him. Including Sabrina. Just don't tell her that, or she'll throw soup on you. Trust me. **

"I'll start with you." She (A/N DANGIT I BLEW THE SURPRISE. i just don't like writing "the master" over and over again. ) poked me in the chest. "Puck. heh heh heh."

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Can it Grimm, I'll get out of this."

"Actually, that was me. Elvis farted." Harper admitted.

A bit sad that no one cared about me getting killed, I transformed into a hippo and broke the chains. I smacked the Master accross the room and freed everyone else. Except for Elvis Castello. He creeps me out.

He just started singing. Elvis Presly said, "Well uh i thank you Puck. Without you i uh wouldn't uh been uhble to uh, usemy mousse." He pelvic thrusted and walked out.

"Now, lets unmask this criminal." Sabrina said.

"Rah, Runmask Rah Riminal." Elvis agreed.

He ran past Carson and knocked to the ground.

"My glasses, I can't find my glasses."

"Hey Elvis, like, food!" I said.

Sabrina walked over to the Master while Harper fluffed her hair.

"And the Master is:" Sabrina started and pulled of the mask. Everyone gasped and in unison said: "Another Oc?!"

"No!" snapped the other OC. "It is I, Miguel!" Blank stares.

"From the Road To El Dorado?"

"But that's not disney pixar...?" Harper said confused.

"It's still a fairy tale, okay?"

"Fine. grumble grumble grumble."

"Now to unmask his sidekick who appeared out of nowhere." Sabrina said.

"A gender-confused palm tree?" Everyone said in unison, again.

"MY NAMEIS ENVY!!!!"

"He's dreamy." Carson cooed. Everyone stared.

"Well, pickles did invent the flying saucer." Harper confirmed.

A crescendo of agruements erupted from thy room and Envy bellowed.

"SILENCE!!!" he grabbed Carson and used a built in jetpack to fly away.

**A/N OOOOOOkay not weird at all. R & R!!! (I just l;earned what that meant. BTW GETTING THE EIGHTH BOOK TOMORROW!!!!!!) What? That was completely relevent. :/**


	12. Hohum merpity derp

A/N Okay, Moth meets Harper and...well breathes near Sabrina. Trouble ensues. MUCH more serious that the previous chapter...heh...heh BTW!!!! I GOT THE EIGTH BOOK!!! I finished it in an hour. Pucktastic!  
Really, get it.

Sabrina's POV

Moth.

MOTH is here. My worst nightmares are realized.

Granny Relda has turned into an old fat idiot, she's letting Moth stay with us.

Moth came up to me the first day she arrived.

"Puck doesn't love you, you know." She stated, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah. No, I got that." I replied with a nod.

"Who are you and why are you here?" Harper's the straight-forward type.

"I'm Moth. I am here to reclaim my love and I am royalty. I deserve your respect."

Harper mouthed Everafter? and i nodded.

"Oh. So, I think I've read that play...Puck's dad wanted you guys to get married and Puck thinks your crazy and said no to his Daddy. Am I right?"

"Spot on." I told her.

"Puck does NOT think I am crazy. He adores me, he just is not compelled to show it yet. We belong together. I suppose you're here to steal him away, much in the same sense as this wench?" She asked Harper, pointing to me.

"No...I'm here because they like me." She said with a shrug.

"Well this one," a Moth finger in my direction once more, "has already gone farther with him than acceptable." She accused.

Harper raised her eyebrows at me with a mischevious and knowing smile.

"Oh really? Exactly how far?" She inquired.

"She tackled my Pucky poo and kissed him!!" Screamy accusation of eardrum bursting.

Harper nearly choked on her popsicle and fell down laughing. My face was buring bright and Moth snarled.

Once she got her bearings, sort of, Harper lifted a finger and said "One moment giggle please." She walked over to Puck.

Harper's POV

"Hey...Puck?" I asked, slyly.

"Sup, homediddily?"

"Homediddily? Is the Flanders Gangster?"

"What do you want?" he deadpanned.

"When did you and Sabrina kiss?" I asked innocently. Puck jumped and paled. His voice quieted to a whisper.

"How did you find out about that?" he demanded.

"So its true!" I exclaimed happily.

"Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell-"

He put his hand over my mouth.

"Fine. But ONLY because it's your job to know."

It's not my job to know.

"Okay, so I was upset about Jake, because that was when he first showed up. He was hogging everyones attention. I was the one who saved everyone! Not him! So anyway, he bought donuts and sent Sabrina up to my room to get me, and she started taunting. So, naturally, I made fun of her, saying how she loved me." He paused. I'm pretty sure he loves her, But Sabrinas a tough book to read. "So, I guess I went to far and..." His voice trailed off.

"You kissed her." I said.

He nodded guiltily. "Well, did you like it?" I asked.

"Well, you know,...mm...erm..hohum...merpity derp..." He mumbled.

"What happened afterward?"

"I acted like I was doing her a favor. And...she punched me."

I burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry," I wiped a tear. "That's such a Sabrina thing to do. How'd you guys act for the rest of the day. Was it awkward?"

"Not really. About ten minutes later I got my wings ripped off by a jabberwockey and was pretty much in a coma for a little while."

"Whoa." Was NOT expecting that.

"Puck?" I asked softly.

"Yeah?" He answered just as softly.

"Do you like Sabrina?" I asked, breaking out into a giant goofy smile.

Puck's eyes watered. "What's it matter if I do. She doesn't like me. No one likes me."

I sighed. "Welp, you'll always have Moth."

Puck groaned.

A/N Yuppity yup yup. I always imagine Puck as this guy from my English class. English-boy is Puck's human form. I swear. Kinda. EB(English-Boy) makes fun of EVERY girl in our class by pretending he loves them. Its weird. My friend totally hates him but she also thinks he's the hottest guy in school. Oh yeah, he's Puck. :) 


	13. A Bajillion Flying Bunnies

A/N Mmmkay. This story's about Carson (remember, she was kidnapped?) going around the world. If you're confused, Envy is from Carson's favorite anime show FullMetal Alchemist and she made me add him cuz she's in love with him. BTW Jared IS Hiccup from How to Train your

Carson's POV

Envy has kidnapped me and I was flown to Germany.

My friend Jared was stuck there, but we got a private jet.

"Hi Carson. And....palm tree." He said with his puberty voice uncertainly.

"SILENCE YOU AWKWARD TEENAGER! HAHAHAHAHA! You're puberty is overrated!!! BWAHAHAHA EVIL ME!" Envy bellowed.

"Hey WTF." Jared asked me.

"DO NOT USE ACRONYMS YOU FOOLISH HUMAN!" Suddenly. Jared joined me in the private jet and we flew back to Ferryport Landing.

* * *

Back in Ferryport Landing, Envy was keeping busy by chaining Jared to a tree.

"NOW, BY THE POWER OF RAW, LET THY DRAGONS BE SUMMONED AND DEVOUR THIS VULGAR HUMAN!!!!!"Envy cried out. Immediately, a giant purple dragon appeared out of nowhere and ate Jared whole.

"NOOOO JARED NOOOOOOOOOOOOI'm over it." I said, concerned.

"You're turn" Envy grinned evilly and found another tree, one that didn't have a giant bite out of it, and began chaining me up.

"Not today, Jealousy." A voice said.

"MY NAME IS ENVY!!!!" I looked up and found the boy that Harper was hanging out with flying in the air.

He grabed me by the wrist and began flying over the town.

"Uh, what's your name again?" The boy asked sheepishly.

"I'm Carson. Why are you saving me if you don't know my name?"

"Harper offered me her dessert tonight." He replied.

"Oh. What's your name?" I asked.

"GAH! FLYING BUNNIES!" He screamed.

"Huh, weird name." Then I looked and I saw a bajillion flying bunnies heading toward us. Then I felt his hand let go of my wrist. I began falling

I fell into a jump house. :)

h

A/N Sorry, kind of short but I thought it was funny. BTW, EB got EVEN MORE PUCK-LIKE today. He threw sandwhiches at people. I know, weird.


	14. Do You Need ome Water For Your Pants?

A/N OKAY my sis made me write that last chaptah. this is Sabrina-Puck bonding time.

Sabrina's POV

Harper wanted to spend the day alone with her sister, who she hasn't seen in three months.

Granny Relda is making Moth help clean the house which means two things; 1, NO MOTH!!!! :) :) :) :) 2, No house.

Daphne is taking Elvis to the Hudson River for the entire day. Red is wallowing in self-pity, as usual.

Uncle Jake's gonna have a smooch-fest with Briar.

I think that's everyone in the Grimm household.

Except me and Puck.

We're not allowed in the house, and we're not to hang out with others. :( = me.

"Grimm! Lets get ice cream." Puck said, pushing me through the hallway.

"Grrrrrrr..." I protested maturely.

"MOVE."

"SOMEbody's Mr. Bossy today. Is something wrong?" I taunted tauntingly.

"No. I NEED SUGARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

"Gah don't freak out on me."

And we were off.

Literally, off the ground. He grabbed me and took flight until we saw an ice cream shop.

We ordered-me a chocolate dipped vanilla cone and Puck a sundae the size of my calf- and sit down.

'How do you eat that without barfing? Its so....HUGE." I pointed out.

"Same way I look at your face without barfing," he answered.

"Awww, you love me sooo much don't you." Sarcastic me, ha ha ha.

"Puh-lease. Don't even know why I bothered moving in...." he counted on his fingers.

"Two years ago," I reminded him

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah. A lot has happened, huh?"

"Tell me about it. Gah, my life was a lot less...painful before you came along."

"I'd say the worst that happened was me becoming the wolf." I say with a nod.

"Oh c'mon. I had my wings ripped off. How about I rip off your arms and you tell me thats worse." Puck teased.

"Okay, that's pretty bad, but I think you and the Scarlet Hand are teaming up to make my life miserable."

"Really? What's my best prank?" He asked, actually eager to know.

"GOD, where to begin. Well, the worst was probably when you tried to kill me." I smirked.

"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT." Puck's face turned red.

"AND, it was the second time you've cried infront of me."

"I WAS NOT CRYING! My eyes were sweating! Plus, the first time doesn't count. That was my dad's funeral." I stuck my tongue out.

"I'd say the worst thing you've done to me was-"

"What have I EVER done to you?"

Suddenly, a montage of me hitting and kicking him appeared in my mind.

"Nevermind."

"Okay, so the worst thing you've done to me was..." His eyes widened. " MAKING FUN OF MY PAJAMAS." He said in an I'm-talking-too-loud-cuz-I'm-not-telling-the-truth voice.

"YOU'RE LYING!!! LITTLE LARRY LIES ALOT! WHAT IS THE TRUTH LIAR LARRY?? HUH? HUH? DO YOU NEED SOME WATER FOR YOUR PANTS?" We got some stares after that last line.

"I'm not lying! I'm just not telling you the truth." I arched an eyerow.

"So what is the truth? Tell me or you will die!"

Puck's face burned a bright crimson and he scribbled something on a napkin.

I picked it up and read it.

**Wen u poonchd me after i kisd u. that wuz da werst.**

I almost felt guilty.

I looked up to tell him how to spell 'was'. Oh, and to tell him sorry.

But he was gone.

Well, sort of. He was sitting on top of the umbrella above the outside table.

The was a Puck-butt imprint above my head.

Weirdo.

A/N OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOohhhhhhh!!!

Yeah, this story needs more Puckabrina. BUT WAIT! THERES MORE! IF YOU REVIEW, I'LL THROW IN THE SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME SPONGE FOR JUST ONE "I LOVE THIS STORY." REVIEW QUICKLY!


	15. These Butterflies Are Truly Evil

**A/N HEYO! This is a more serious episode..or chapter...or... or... I DON'T KNOW STOP PRESSURING MEEEEEE!!! Please don't read this if easily squemish. Sorry :/ Actually, it prolly won't be that bad, I'm only 12. I'm not THAT crazy yet.**

Sabrina's POV

**READ THE A/N IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!!!!!**

"WHY IS MY COMPUTER BLEEDING?!?!?!?!?!" I heard Harper scream from downstairs. (**That was in a dream I had last night. Apparently Justin Beiber is a murderer. Who knew?)**

"WHAT?" I demanded, a little scared. I flew down the stairs, to find Harper's laptop on the table and a used paper towel soaked red.

"Ew..." Daphne said.

"I am fine with being kidnapped by weird beard. I am fine with people turning into freakish things. I am fine with lying weirdbeards and insane judges. I am fine with being kidnapped a second time and slapped across the face and a thousand masters and my sister being kidnapped and having soup thrown in my face but I DON'T LIKE BLOOD ON MY LAPTOP!!!!" Harper ranted. WOW...a lot of stuff happened to Harper.

"Who threw soup in your face?" Puck asked.

"Oh yeah.......nevermind.'

After Granny made some hot chocolate to calm Harper down, I walked over to the laptop and noticed a huge red hand print on the screen. I noticed that it was made of actual blood. I shivered.

"Where did they even get blood? Did they kill someone? Is it pig's blood, like in Carrie? Gersh, did they steal it from a blood drive? These butterflies are truly evil." Harper said, venting.

"Okay, everyone please come here." Granny called out. "Has anyone else seen any other blood or handprints anywhere?"

"Well, there's that one." Puck said matter-of-factly. We followed his gaze to see a HUGE handprint on the window.

"Who has hands that big?" Harper asked, knowing that the answer would not be nobody.

"You'd be surprised." I replied, apologetic.

She sighed and shook her head. Abruptly, she stood up and walked to the kitchen. She returned with a roll of paper towels and Windex.

"You're going to clean it?" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

"No offense, but it's not the greatest decoration." Harper said. And with that, she went outside.

"This is getting out of hand. They're using REAL blood." I said. I AM FREAKED OUT.

"Yeah. Hopefully its not human blood." Puck agreed.

"You're not human. Does that mean they can use _your _blood?" Daphne asked.

"EW ITS MADE OF BLOOD TOO!! HEY, WHO ARE YOU!? I THOUGHT PIRATES WERE ONLY IN SOMOLIA!!!" We heard Harper scream. We exchanged quick glances and ran outside.

Harper wasn't there.

Sinbad was.

And then we went.

**A/N Wow.....scary.....eeeeek! HAHAHAHA the next chapter'll be AWESOME!!!**


	16. Oh My Muffin! I'm Loved!

**A/N Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Then Jack went bezerk and killed jill and joined the scarlet hand and became a pirate. **

**Harper's POV**

I was being dragged onto a pirate ship on the Hudson River.

I remember pretending to be a pirate when we won the case.

"Yarr Harr Harr!" The lead pirate gaffawed. Oh, I got the laugh right.

"Avast ye, I be being gentle on ye right now." A pirate man said.

**5:00 A/N Sorry, but MY COMPUTER TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!!!!!! Luckily, I can read upside down. i have no idea HOW his happened but I'm working on fixing it.**

**6:00 Now its sideways!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!**

**6:30 YAY I FIXED IT!!! **

**Back to the story:**

"Do you know the MEANING of gentle? 'Cause gentle isn't hitting me on the head with a frying pan. I wasn't even knocked out! You just kept on hitting me and hitting me." I said. I am REALLY getting my anger out today.

Maybe I'M the one who needs therapy.

First, the pirate walked over to my sister. He put a knife to her throat.

"Hmm....ye'll do."

Most people looked bored.

"Hey! That's my sister!" I screamed.

"Who else knows this dame?" The lead pirate asked.

"Well, you know..."

"Her names...Car-- carpel tunnel or something."

"Drat! I shall start with a better loved person!"

"Oh my muffin! I'm loved!" Carson exclaimed.

"Not enough apparently." Pirate-man stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh what, so I'm not important enough to use as bait?" But by then, the pirate had moved on.

"OKAY, so I am Captian Hook, as ye all know." Captian Hook said.

"Yeah yeah... we've met. Now make us walk the plank already!" Puck said bored.

Okay, Hook has been here before.

"Shut your trap Peter!" Hook shouted.

Oooooooh, he did NOT.

"WHAT did you call me!?" Puck seethed.

"You mean you're NOT Peter Pan?" Hook asked confused.

"You don't even know you're own nemesis?" I asked, completely gobsmacked.

"That's sad, dude." Daphne said.

Carson shook her head.

"Whatever. I suppose I'll use you." He said, walking over to Sabrina. Again with the knife-to-throat thing.

'No!" Puck cried. We all stared. "I mean, _I _wanted to do that." He covered.

"Has anyone else noticed that they haven't even tied us up yet, and we've been standing here anyway?" I asked.

No POV

Everyone looked around, first down at themselves and then at the floor. Some of the captives' faces turned a bright crimson while others(cough Harper cough) laughed. The pirates, however, grabbed the ropes from a rotting barrel that had multiple holes in it and had little use. _These pirates really should consider replacing that, _Carson thought.

Harper just let them tie her up. Puck, Sabrina, Red, Daphne, and Carson, however, resisted the pirates, reasoning that if they are stupid enough to forget, then they don't deserve to tie them up now.

The pirates scratched their heads and tied them up anyway.

"Okay, ye are gonna walk te plank." Hook said, hooking his hooked hook and Harper.

"Don't you touch her!" Puck shouted. Sabrina felt an unfamiliar twang of jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

"It's K, I got this." Harper said, raising her tied hands a bit above where her belly button should be. Her hands were tied in front of her, making it easy for her to raise them above her head. Her feet were tightly bound together, and red marks were already forming.

No one had any idea how she had "got this," but since it was Harper, they had faith.

She hopped over to the plank-she resembled a penguin-and asked, "Can I dive in?"

"No! No fun!" Hook demanded, a his brains a bit scrambled.

Ignoring his answer altogether, Harper leaped straight up and down on the end until she got high enough before she jumped of and did a flip and dove into the water. Then she resurfaced doing the butterfly kick with her hands in streamline position.

"Thank God for swim team, am I right?" By now she was doing vertical kicking, which barely kept her chin above the water. "Bye."

She dove back under water and dolphin kicked to a sharp rock and sliced the rope. Then she untied her feet and swam just under the plank. She heard a _sploooosh!_ next to her and untied Sabrina. Next, there was a _KABLOOEYSPLOOSHKABOOSH! _and an elephant crashed into the water. Puck quickly returned to his original form.

The three continued to untie every last victim until Hook ran out of people. He even threw in one of his own men.

"Hey HOOK!" Harper called up.

"What do you want!?" Hook demanded, obviously agitated.

"DON'T MESS WITH A SWIMMER!!" Harper laughed, and backstroked to the shore.

**A/N Hahaha ok that was a loooong chapter. I've had that idea for FOREVER but FINALY got around to writing it. **

**P.S. Please don't hate me for typos. I'm a pretty good speller but this program thingy I use doesn't have spell check. :/ KK REVIEW PLEASE!!**


	17. A Gaggle of Horrified Faces

**A/N Does anyone know that Coldplay has a song called Ode to Deoderant? Strange, huh?**

**No POV**

Harper, Carson, Daphne, Red, Puck and Sabrina crawled out of the freezing Hudson River, shivering with both adrenaline and, well being frozen. It's not everyday a bunch of children (with the exeption of Carson, who is 30 something. She's pretty old to be a sister of a twelve year old.) outsmart billion year old pirates.

Well, kind of outsmarted.

Even though the pirates could not make it to the edge of the river in time, ther're accomplices could.

"Hey," Aladdin said.

Harper sighed while Aladdin checked out Carson, forcing Daphne to giggle and Puck to gag.

And Carson to introduce Lefty and Righty.

And Aladdin to familiarize himself with the meaning of "Black Eye."

The genie decided he had had enough hulabuloo, and zapped everyone to a room with a collaseum underwater. _Atlantis, _Harper thought at once.

Dolphins and sea cows the size of train cars swam by as the group realized they couldn't breathe. Oh, the huge manatee!

"Blub? Blubbuh blubbee blubba. Blubba!" Harper complained.

"HA. HA. HA. HA. BLARHAHAHARHAHRHARHAHAHGLAHAHBLAR!" The Genie burst out as he realized what Harper - probably - was trying to say. Just as suddenly as the laughing had occured had oxegyn filled bubbles materialized around each "air breathers" heads.

"Hey, can you hear me in this thing?" Daphne asked, crinkling her nose. Her voice sounded as if she were talking throuh a paper towel tube and she startled the others. They turned their surrounded heads to see her.

"Okay, so people can talk. So, now for questions. Why did you bring us down here? What's wrong with the surface? Why don't you need a bubble-head? How come this giant blue dude is magical and you're just some dude in puffy pants, yet the movie was named after _you?_" Harper asked. It was a wonder all the air didn't run out as she talked. She definately is a talker.

"Well, you se-blub blub blub blub blub blub blub" Aladdin obviously needed a bubble too.

"Oops!" Genie exclaimed. "Heh heh, sorry Master."

"AHA! YOU are The Master!!!!" Harper accusingly pointed her finger directly in Aladdin's face, and all watched in awe as it went right through his bubble's membrane and jabbed his nose.

"No," A very annoyed Aladdin said in a voice that resembled Squidward's. He forcefully grabbed at her finger and thrust it away from his personal bubble. "I am _not_ the master. I am simply an...employee. He is very high up you see."

"No duh Harper, we already found out that it was Migeul." Puck said, rolling his eyes.

"Who's that, another OC?" Aladdin asked, oblivious that no one cared for his input.

"But I did research and found that The Road To El Dorado isn't a fairytale." Harper cleverly retorted.

"What's that, a fanfiction story?" Again with Oblivious Aladdin, showing the world that he is indeed useless.

"Heh...heh...actually that was a prank. I payed that guy to do that." Daphne confessed.

Everyone execpt for the Oblivious One glared.

"Sorry?" Daphne innocently tried, She even shot the puppy-dog eyes.

"Awwwww...." Everyone was surprised to hear Aladdin's voice.

"Okay, down to business. Which one of you should I kill first?" Aladdin asked, pulling out a knife. Everyone gasped. "Oh you can't be that surprised."

There were murmers of agreement.

"Okay," Aladdin pointed his finger. "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, YOU." His finger landed on Red.

"No! You can't kill her!" Daphne and Harper cried in unison. Sabrina silently agreed while Puck was his normal obnoxious, perturbing self.

"Well, she tried to kill us..." Puck reasoned.

"Don't make her do it again." Harper threatened, snapping her fingers in a z-fo-may-shun booty-ro-tay-shun turn-around touch-the-ground kick-your-boyfriend-out-of-town-bunny-ears-freeze.

"Ugh, are you quite done?!" Aladdin snapped. "I need to kill SOMEONE." He seemed exhasperated.

"Fine, fine, carry on." Harper sighed.

A gaggle of horrified faces were shot in Harper's direction as she realized what she had said.

"I choose YOU." Aladdin said, grabbing Harper's arm. he held the knife to her throat.

"Why is it either me or Sabrina getting killed?" Harper complained.

"Shut up! Or I will KILL you!"

"Aren't you already doing that?"

Aladdin threw her on the ground, but with her feet she swept his off the platform (or whatever they were on) and he fell on his hip with a thud. But, just before Harper sat up, Aladdin lunged and slit her...

**Should I kill Harper? I think I will. Or is that suicide? Whatever. SO, review and tell me to kill either Harper, or Sabrina. SOMEONE will die. YOU CAN'T DENY THE TRUTH. (It's almost over. I like ending things witha bang. Or in this case, a slit throat. MAYBE.)**


	18. You Got Pwned By Two Little Girls

**A/N Okay, no on dies in this chapter, because I love writing this story so much. (Caution-Spoilers for Book 7 -though eveyones read it already.)**

**No POV**

...wrist.

"Cheez-its dude! That friggen hurt!" She complained.

"Well I was _aiming _for your face!" Aladdin retorted, though not cleverly.

"Well that makes it SO much better!" Harper said fisiciously. With her good arm she punched Aladdin in the face, and stabbed him in the leg.

"Seriously? Did I just get pwned by a little girl!" Aladdin cried out.

"Ninety-three pounds of pure power." Harper flexed her muscles.

Daphne walked over to Aladdin and kicked him right in his side, causing him to scream in agony again.

Puck laughed.

"No, you got pwned by _two _little girls!" Puck guffawed, and almost fell over.

"C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand." Harper said,crawling through a tiny hole. "Ewww....spiders." Harper's voice had an echo.

Everyone exchanged glances and shrugged. Then they followed Harper in.

Eventually, after at least ten minutes of claustrophobia-causing crawling, they reached a bright light.

They all entered a room- a large room at that -that was brightly lit, though there were no windows. It had a metallic color, a silverish dull. The room in was empty except for a grey desk in the center. No chair, just a desk. The second everyone was inside, the hole they had crawled through disappeared into the wall. It made a loud hissing noise that made everybody jump.

"Whoa." Harper said.

"Hello." A voice said. Everybody jumped again, and turned in the direction.

"Mirror?" Sabrina was confused. How'd he get out of the mirror?

"Hi, Starfish." He smirked.

"Uh, hi." She said awkwardly. Sabrina mustered up a frazzled wave and turned to Daphne and shrugged.

"Wait, this is the dwarf who lives in the mirror?" Harper asked.

"I AM NOT A DWARF I AM A LITTLE PERSON!" Mirror screamed.

"Whatever." Harper threw her hands up as if to say "Ok, you got me."

"Uh, dude? Why are you...wherever we are?" Puck asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Mirror said. "Finally something intelligent comes out of him."

Sabrina giggled while Puck indignantly cried, "I get inteligent things outa me all the time!"

That just made everyone in the room laugh.

"Okay, okay, the reason I'm here is because..."

Harper made thee 'go on' motion with her hands and Sabrina nodded, knowing that something more would happen.

"Well because I hate all of you."

Daphne bawled, Puck sneered, Harper nodded disapprovingly and wrote something down in her notebook.

Sabrina, howevr, brought her hand to her heart and asked in a betrayed way, "Really?"

"Yes, it is because of you that I am trapped here!" He snapped.

"Uh, where is 'here?'" Harper asked.

Mirror laughed maniacally.

**WHERE is here? I don't even know yet. Ideas, anyone?**


	19. Mirror's Unconscious and The Doors Open!

**A/N This is it. The exciting conclusion! Yeah, someone's gonna die. Who will it be? Please don't hate me for being a murderer!**

**Sabrina's POV**

Harper had a good question. Where IS 'here?'

"Foolish girl. 'Here' is a nice little cell under the ground. You may not realize this, but you five just crawled through 3 miles of tunnels. While digging them, I got quite claustraphobic." He fanned himself, growing a bit emotional while recalling that experiments. "Anyway, the only way out opens _only if _I say the word, 'open.'"

Suddenly, a hissing noise that resembled a large balloon being slowly deflated rang throughout the room and a hole appeared in the wall, providing an exit.

"You're loony, dude. I'm leaving." Harper accused, while climbing through. She stuck her head back out for a moment. "Who's with me?"

Mirror opened his mouth and let it hang for a moment before saying a simple word. His eyes seemed amused. "Close."

The noise returned as the hole that Harper's head was still halfway through closed.

Mirror chuckled as Harper struggled to pull her head through. She made grunting sounds and even banged her head against the wall to get out. Finally she gave up and settled her gaze on Mirror.

"You are truly evil." Her glared worsened.

"Um, Mirror? Are you at all related to...the...the..." I cut in,even though I couldn't bring myself to say the name of a certain secret organization.

'THE PINK BUTTERFLIES!" Harper interrupted accusingly.

Mirror stared at her confused and she tstuck her tongue out at him. He shrugged and looked away.

"I suppose you mean the Scarlet Hand, to which the answer is yes." My eyes grew wide, for Mirror was my best friend!

"You mean, you, and I, and oh my god! Waa-I'm over it. You're evil." I sneered at him.

"Well, Starfish, you could be considered evil too." I raised my eyebrow. "You would always open up to me, spew out your boring problems. But, they gave me useful information."

Suddenly Mirror was hit over the head with a frying pan and he fell to the ground. "I've always wanted to do that," Harper said.

Puck burst out laughing. "How'd you get out?" He asked.

Harper shrugged. "He said 'open'"

"Where'd you get a frying pan?"

Harper shifted her eyes nervously before awkwardly saying "Oh look! Mirror's unconscious and the doors open! Let's go! Okay bye!" Harper scurried out. Everyone followed, but unwillingly they all crawled into a wall.

"We're stuck." Mr. Obvious- Sorry, Puck said.

**To be concluded... Dun dun DUN**


	20. Oh Crap

**A/N Okay, so I asked all of you who I should kill. (Teehee) Well, I got a couple different answers, so lets find out what happens!**

**Sabrina's POV**

"Oh crap." Harper said under her breath.

Usually, in these types of situations, "crap" is not a good word to hear. Crap.

"What is it Harper?" Puck asked, not even trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"Well, first of all, when that pirate dude slit my wrist, the blood got all over my nice white shirt!" We all exchanged glances. "And, we're all trapped in this little hole."

That had a little more severity than her first problem.

"Oh crap! An atomic bomb!" Harper screamed.

"What are we going to do!" Daphne cried. Carson held the little girl who had started crying. What happened to Daphne? Has Harper softened her?

Puck's eyes grew wide, and locked into mine. I calmed a bit, then remembered who I was looking at.

...Is there something wrong with this claustraphobic's-nightmare, this three-mile-long hole?

Suddenly Harper, Carson, and Daphne started laughing hysterically.

"That was gold," Carson held her side with one hand and high-fived Harper and Daphne with the other.

I shot my head from Harper, to Daphne, to Carson. "Dude!" Puck and I both yelled, angrily.

"Hahaha-oh crap." Harper looked back at us sheepishly. "We really are trapped in here."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't take it too far Harper." I crawled up and realized that Harper was telling the truth.

"Oh crap."

"At least we were lying about the bomb?" Daphne shrugged.

Suddenly, Puck began hyperventalating. He wiped his eye with a filthy hand. His eyes grew wide as saucers and he pushed past everyone to me. He was shaking, and his tears were leaving stains on his dirt-encrusted face.

Then Puck decided it was time for him to visit a dentist.

He kissed me.

I stared at him, feeling a little dizzy, but a good dizzy, which I didn't understand at all. "Bye," He whispered, and we all died in an etomic bomb explosion.

**Granny's POV**

Mr. Canis, Jacob, Henry, Veronica and I had all woken up without any children, or Carson, in our house.

I remember them going outside, but never coming home. I remember a pirate coming into our house. That's it.

As soon as I had woken, I raced to the pier. I don't exactly know _why _we have a pier on a river, but whatever.

By then, everyone was underwater. Veronica screamed, "Where are my children!" as loud as she could, but to no avail.

Henry's face twisted up, and he said "I will _sue_ these pirates!"

Mr. Canis, quiet as he usually is, woefully talked about Red.

Jacob talked about Carson, how pretty she was, and how he was single.

I tried to remind them that no one was dead, yet.

But then we were. In an atomic bomb explosion.

**Mirror's POV**

My plan had worked perfectly. I had expected for them to try and escape; I am an evil genius you know, cross-words really help excercise your brain. I read that if one does enough cross-words, he can develop- nevermind, off topic.

So yes, I had expected for them to escape. I had the pirates patch up the hole that they had crawled through, and even before that I had planted an atomic bomb. Don't ask where I got it-I just know a guy.

Then, once they had crawled back through from MY room, I had closed the door. Then, all I needed to do was climb out the alternative way, hop on my jet, use the vorpal blade to get out of Ferryport Landing, and fly away 4,000 mph. It was foolproof!

They had left only five minutes ago, I had plenty of time to leave. Enough time to laugh maniacally.

"Mwahahahaha-Oh crap, five whole minutes!"

BOOM.

**HAHA I like Mirror's best, personally. Thank you, EVERYONE, who has read, added, or reviewed my story! I love you all! I'm already starting a new series, called Oops, Not Again, which is another OC. (Sorry, OC's are just so fun!) BTW: Carson is Uncle Jake's age, for those who were confused. (I didn't even know until this chapter. :P) Please review this last chapter, and check out my new story! (first chapter should be out next week.)**

**Au Revior, Ciao, Cya, Josephine. :)**

**P.S. I feel like a teacher, getting all excited and emotional at the end of the school year, or in this case, story. **


	21. We Pooled Our Onion Rings

**Hahahaha kk so a lot of people didn't like the ending, so I'm gonna write a "happy" () ending. Here we go. **

**Sabrina's POV**

We were crawling through the hole, Harper in front, Puck in back, as we suddenly stopped.

"Oh no!" Harper said dramatically as she thrusted the back of her hand to her forehead. "We've reached a dead end!"

Daphne began sobbing uncontrollably and everyone else started hyperventalating.

Puck turned to me and said, "Sabrina, just in case we don't make it out of this alive, I have always loved you," and planted on smack on my lips.

Suddenly we appeared on a fied or prairie somewhere and were many yards apart. Romantic classical music began playing and we ran towards each other, slowly and with arms outstretched, though we seem to be getting nowhere.

"Eff this," Puck said and he popped out his wings and flew the speed of a train towards me. The prairie scene faded into a waterfall and we confessed our love.

Our cliche moment was interrupted by Daphne's sudden cry: "NOOOO!"

"What is it?" Harper asked, again, dramatically.

"Granny Relda has been," She looked soulfully into the distance and said, "kidnapped."

**To be continued...**

**Haha just kidding I'll finish it now.**

"I know who it was." Harper said, in a strange New York accent. "But it'll cost ya."

We began to pool our money but she interrupted us...again.

"I don't take no cash. I need'a be payed in," she added a dramatic pause, "onion rings. Fiddy of 'em."

We pooled our onion rings, but, just our luck, we only had fourty-nine.

In a hushed tone, Daphne suggested that we split one in half. "We can tape the halves together to make them look like small onion rings."

"Yeah, yeah, then it'll seem like we're paying her extra!"

We did it.

After she had gobbled up the last onion ring, she said, "Okays Ukays, the kidnappa is," She looked toward he camera and took of her sunglasses, "No one," Harper started laughing, and used her real voice.

"This whole thing was a set-up. On that show, Gotcha!" She began entering hysterics. "I was never a therapist! I work for the show! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"And Mirror isn't really the Master, I made that up, too."

"And no one ever got hurt! Hahahahaa, 'cept the interns of course." She winced. "It'll be airing Tuesday, February 33rd, ha ha, 'kay bye." And with that, Harper got up and left.

**The End. **


End file.
